


Family Portrait

by Maisie_top_trash



Series: Unseen - Fear Will Lose [38]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Adoption, Family Drama, Homophobia, M/M, Military, PTSD, idk - Freeform, mental health, that's pretty much it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 06:58:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16363085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maisie_top_trash/pseuds/Maisie_top_trash
Summary: Unseen Fear Will Lose is a series of stories showing unseen scenes from the same universe as my main story, Fear Will Lose. In order to fully enjoy these extra bits, I recommend you go and read that first.Fear Will LoseI know that not everybody loves the Todd/Tyler fics, but I like writing about his life after Josh so I'm not that concerned with the low interactions I'll most likely get. In this story Tyler is 48 and had overcome the majority of his fears, but Todd's family are still one of them. He's trying to balance the anxiety around them with the excitement of some news they're keeping hidden, and it spills out in an unusual way for Tyler. Confrontation.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I split this fic in two to try and keep them in manageable chunks, but I know this one's still pretty big, ssoorrryyyy
> 
> also, disclaimer, I don't know shit about the US army and how it works, and all the ranks and medals and whatever have come from a quick google search, so sorry if I've misunderstood anything, I don't mean for it to be inaccurate or offensive <3
> 
> PTW for mild description of military violence and talks of grief and alcohol

“Here you go Papa,”  
“Perfect, thank you angel.” He took the stack of three bowls off Isabel and laid them out on the work top, then started transferring homemade chow mein into each of them with a pair of tongs.

“Did Nanny Kelly teach you how to cook?” She climbed up onto the counter, watching his every move closely.  
“Not really, no. She taught me easy stuff like boiling pasta and baking potatoes, staples so that I could make do on my own, but it was Josh who loved cooking for enjoyment rather than just for the end result.”  
“And he showed you?”  
“Yeah, we used to cook together all the time when I was well.” Tyler nodded. “I didn’t pick up a lot at the time, only because he always cooked every meal and whenever I had a go at it, he was always there to teach me along the way, so I never had to remember how. But yeah, once he died, and once I got out of the hospital, it became a nice thing to do to remember him. I’m using a photo of his recipe book actually.”

He put down the tongs and passed across his phone, which his daughter took off him carefully.

“Woah, this is all handwritten, he did this?? He made his own cookbook?”  
“Yeah,” Tyler smiled proudly as she swiped through a couple of the photos in the album of the slightly sun bleached pages, the odd one decorated with a splash or spill that had occurred many years ago when he was perfecting it. Tyler was much too precious to take the leather book out into the open anymore, but it was kept safely in a box in the attic.

“Some of those pages were written 30 years ago when we first started dating, and he continued it all through our marriage. They’re not all original recipes, some were from other cookbooks and stuff, but he rewrote them so that the servings were right for the two of us, and he’d make minor changes like how I don’t love tomatoes, and he wasn’t a huge fan of red onions, so he’d mix them up a little. And then yeah, some of them are completely his own making. There’s a really good curry he came up with, and his famous pasta sauce, and all sorts.”

“Did he want to be a chef?”  
“Not especially, I think he enjoyed the fun rather than the idea of being in charge of other people and doing it for money. He was a good lawyer, very successful considering he only worked with his firm for a few years, and I think for the most part he did enjoy being a lawyer, but yeah I definitely think he would have made a brilliant chef too. There were so many things he was good at, he could have done pretty much anything.”

“My birth dad is a chef.”  
“He works in a restaurant, that’s right.” Tyler smiled at her, knowing he was an occasional pot washer with a heroin problem, but also knowing that Isabel, even aged 15, still idolised the man whose care she had been removed from over a decade ago. It wasn’t Tyler’s place to ruin her view of him, and he liked that she was able to be so positive about an individual who could potentially be representative of so much pain.

“Will you teach me one day? With Josh’s recipes?”  
“Sure thing darling, I look forward to that being something we can do together.”  
“Thanks Papa,”  
“No worries kiddo,” he loved when her teeth poked through her pale lips when she smiled genuinely. “You mind finding that stinky brother of yours?  
“Okay,” she hopped off elegantly and left him alone in the kitchen to start the washing up.

Todd was out of town, and had been for the past 2 days. His father was receiving yet another honour from the army to add to his large collection of medals and ribbons, and even though he didn’t especially want to, Todd had been pressured by his family to fly down to Arizona to witness the award ceremony and attend the consequent formal dinner being thrown for him. He was given a +1, but thankfully Tyler hadn’t even been approached with the idea, and his fiancé had gone alone, leaving him with Will and Isabel for a few days.

Summer break meant he was off work and they were off school. The older of the two kids attended the School of Visual Arts in NYC with a scholarship and had recently completed his second year of his photography course, and had come home for a few weeks to spend time with his family. Most of his summer was blocked out for travel with his friends, he’d already been to Vietnam and Cambodia, and after the short stop at home he was off to Chile and Argentina.

As a student he was naturally broke - even with the semi-regular gigs he got as a wedding photographer on the side of his studies, William struggled to keep the books balanced independently. It was Josh who paid for his travels. Josh, with his 6 figure salary, had earned far in excess of what they needed to get by, and as his only legal family, Tyler had received it all after he passed. For years it sat in a savings account untouched, just accumulating pitiful interest whilst Tyler lived in his mom’s house with no need for money. But now, finally, it could be put to good use through paying for his children’s schooling and wider educations through experience. Each time William returned from his trips, he was a better and more knowledgeable person, and Tyler knew that Josh would have wanted the money to go exactly towards that.

Isabel hadn’t even started 10th grade yet, but had already set her heart on a gap year. She didn’t know where she wanted to go, she didn’t know who she wanted to do it with, she just loved the stories that Will returned with and was determined to form some of those memories for herself. And Tyler would be lying if he said he wasn’t envious either.

“What is it? Smells great.” William wandered in with his sister just behind him, of course wearing no shirt and with a bandana keeping his mop of hair back from his tanned face. He was physically fit, far fitter than Tyler had ever been in his lifetime, and he was more than confident to go shirtless not only in the comforts of their own home but outside too. In fact Tyler was starting to feel surprised when his son actually did get fully dressed for a change.

“Chicken chow mein.” Tyler handed him a bowl and gave Issy one too, then picked up the pile of chopsticks and forks he’d got ready and followed the pair towards the living room. Todd made them eat in the kitchen usually, but Tyler was more relaxed and so allowed them to eat on the sofas.

“Can’t believe you actually went to the effort of making it yourself, you know it’s like $3 from the Chinese right? And they bring it to your door?”  
“With all that MSG? No wonder it’s so cheap, it’s all chemicals.”  
“Pop literally everything is a chemical, water’s a chemica-“  
“Alright alright, shush you smartass, just eat your noodles and pretend you like them half as much as The Happy Wok’s please, or else I’ll cry.” Tyler laughed as he flopped down onto his seat on the couch.

“I prefer your version Papa,” Isabel took two chopsticks and a fork off him, passing them to William, then took the same again for herself. They always tried with the chopsticks at first then gave up and resulted to using the fork, but they always had a good attempt.

“See, if it was a school day then I’d ask what trouble you got in that you feel like you need to brown nose Pop, but since it’s summer, either you wanna go to a party or you need money,” William deduced and Tyler smirked.  
“Maybe I just really like his chow mein?”  
“Nope.” The 20 year old shook his head. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s good, but nope.”  
“It’s this top, okay? It’s really cute, really really cute, but it’s nearly $50 and I can’t afford it. Please Pop, I’ll pay half, I just really need a tiny bit of help to get it because it would be perfect for Emma’s birthday next week, please,” it all came spilling out and Tyler made eye contact with his son, resisting the urge to laugh.

“You get your allowance in a couple of days darling, don’t you?”  
“Next Monday, but the shipping is 3 days and Emma’s birthday’s Tuesday.”  
“I thought we picked out that nice denim pinafore for Emma’s the other day? You look beautiful in it.”  
“But Sarah said she’s wearing denim dungarees and she sent me a picture and they look so similar Papa! It would be weird!”  
“I’ve still got the receipt. You can return it and get your money back and use that to buy the top?”  
“But I love the dress too,” she sighed stressed.

“There’s a big market for selling erotic photos online. That’s some easy cash.”  
“William she’s 15!” Tyler scolded him.  
“I’m not suggesting full frontal nude, I’m talking about the weirdos. You know, the foot fetish types. I know a girl from school who sold one pic of her feet for nearly a hundred dollars.”  
“I don’t want people doing things to pictures of my feet.”  
“Right answer.” Tyler tutted at the boy’s proud cheeky grin.

“As long as you don’t tell your dad, I’ll slip you $20 towards it.”  
“Thank you thank you,” a smile suddenly filled her pale face.  
“You know how keen Dad is about budgeting and teaching you now so you know for later, so-“  
“So lips shut.” She acted it out.  
“Exactly.”  
“Thanks Papa.”  
“Where’s my $20? Since we live in an equal society and all.” William protested.  
“Your $20 is included as 1/56 of your flight to Chile.” Tyler reminded him and he laughed.  
“Fair enough, fair enough.”

“Go on then, how is the food?” He asked them, slurping another mouthful as he awaited their answer.  
“Amazing, I have never consumed food this beautiful and chemical free, thanks Pop, and thanks for the airplane ticket.”  
“Yeah it’s the definition of good taste - thanks for the top.” Isabel joined in with a guilty snigger.

“It’s not bad though, right?”  
“It’s pretty good actually.” William was more serious, nodding supportively.  
“I haven’t followed this recipe before. Was missing a few bits from it but I think it’s still a success.”  
“One of Josh’s?”  
“Yep.”  
“Thanks Josh,” he said, and Tyler smiled to himself.

 

 

“Hey you,” Tyler couldn’t help but beam as the FaceTime call connected and his phone filled with Todd’s face. His fiancé was walking somewhere and the picture moved a lot, occasionally breaking up a little, and he was using the white Apple earphones rather than revealing their conversation to everyone around him.

“Hey handsome, how was your day?”  
“Really good actually, yeah, the kids and I went to my mom’s this morning for a catch up and then this evening I cooked and we watched some dumb chic flick that Issy suggested.”  
“Don’t pretend you didn’t love it Ty, I know what you’re like.” Todd teased knowingly.  
“Guilty.” Tyler laughed. “How about you? How was your dad’s thing?”  
“The actual presentation ceremony was alright to my surprise, few of his buds told stories from their time served together and it was kinda nice hearing about a side of him that I’ve never really known. But god, that dinner, I bailed as soon as I could, I’m on the way back to the hotel room now.”

“Ah, what was so bad about it?”  
“I get today is his special day, whatever, but all anyone wanted to talk about was him. I didn’t get to sit on the top table with my family, I was just thrown on a random one with strangers, and everyone kept asking about him and saying how wonderful it must have been growing up under his care: newsflash guys, I’m 45 years old and never once has my dad said anything remotely warm to me! For the 16 years I lived with my mom, he was deployed for 10 of them! He didn’t meet me till I was two years old! He still holds it against me that I got Angela pregnant with William and then didn’t marry her even though it was only a drunken mistake. He still refuses to acknowledge my own accomplishments in the army, I mean I was the youngest corporal in my division and a damn good one, and for the past 30 years he’s made feel incredibly uncomfortable with my sexuality! He’s not some inspiration leader, he’s an arrogant asshole.”  
“And breathe.” Tyler reminded him softly, and Todd let out a sigh, getting into an empty elevator and slapping a number.

“Sorry,”  
“S’alright, don’t apologise babe. You’ve had him rubbed in your face all day, a rant is far deserved.”  
“There’s more.”  
“What happened?”  
“They want to come visit Ty. My father, mother, brother and sister want to come visit us.”  
“Visit? As in, come to Ohio?” Tyler frowned a little.  
“Yep.”  
“Oh, well, uh, well that could be nice? I guess? We could put them up in a hotel, so they’re not here 24/7, and since Will’s off to Chile next week and school and my work starts back up not long after he gets back, it will have to be a few months down the line until we’re all free again, so at least you get a bit of a breather until you have to see them again.”  
“They told me this evening that they’ve all already booked onto the same flight as me tomorrow morning.”

Tyler froze for a brief second, not knowing how to react.

“I tried to tell them it was a bad idea, that you need longer to prepare yourself rather than having stuff sprung on you like this, but they want to see Will and Isabel and wouldn’t take no as an answer.”  
“Right.”  
“If you can’t cope, I can lock the door. We don’t have to do this.”  
“Lock the door and leave them on the street? Barricade ourselves in? No Todd, no, don’t be silly, it’s your family, of course we can host them, I’ll be fine.”  
“Every single time you say the word ‘fine’ I know you’re lying.” Todd said, walking down the hall towards his room whilst Tyler tried to figure out how exactly he felt about the situation.

“How long are they coming for?”  
“I don’t know.”  
“Are they getting a hotel? Or are they coming here?”  
“I mean, we only have one available spare room since we built the nursery. Isabel could go in with Will and give her room to Lance and Chloe to share, and my parents could take the double, but if you don’t want them here then I think having one room for 4 guests is a perfectly valid reason to suggest a hotel.”  
“Do you want them here? Or in a hotel?” Tyler asked, pulling his sleeves over his hands.  
“Hotel. I mean I’m having to stay in a hotel tonight even though my parents live alone in a 5 bedroom house literally 2 miles away, don’t think it’s fair for them to demand we put them up.”  
“Yeah,”

“Is it making you anxious?”  
“Kinda, yeah,” Tyler confessed with a gentle nod.  
“I can try to arrange it so that William and Isabel take them out somewhere? Maybe show them round Columbus or something? That way they’re satisfied because they’ve seen the kids, and you get a chance to switch off and breathe.”  
“That would be nice-“  
“I’m really sorry babe, I’ve got another call coming in. It’s Chloe, so she’s probably gonna yell at me for leaving Dad’s dinner, but I’ll ask her about the plans for tomorrow and then I’ll call you back, okay?”  
“Okay.”

With that, Todd was gone and Tyler’s screen went back to showing his FaceTime history, all of the calls to either Todd or his mom. For a brief span of time he sat there and stared blankly, overwhelmed with ideas of how the next few days were gonna go, but rather than letting the ideas run a riot, he stood up and jogged up the stairs, swinging a left to William’s room.

“Will?”  
“Come in!” The 20 year old called after hearing the knock, and Tyler opened the door to find his son shirtless in bed, laptop on his thighs and headphones in the process of being pulled off.

“Hey, can I steal a moment of your time?”  
“S’all yours.” William moved his computer to the end of his bed and shuffled across, making room for his stepdad to join him on the king size mattress.

“Oh I love that, wow,” Tyler spotted the image he was in the middle of editing, showing a stunning pale girl with long auburn hair in bed, wrapped up in some white silk sheets and hugging a pillow whilst staring longingly into the camera.  
“It’s my version of Douglas Kirkland’s Marilyn Monroe shoot. Haven’t quite got it yet, I’m not super happy with it, something’s missing but I’m struggling to put my finger on what exactly.”  
“Your model, she’s pretty, very pretty, but Marilyn was more than pretty, you know? She’s iconic for a reason. She had a horribly traumatic childhood and yet she could play this wonderfully innocent character, and for the 50s she was a sex symbol but also a powerful activist, both by breaking through the repression of female sexuality, and by supporting black women in the industry, like Ella Fitzgerald who became known as the Queen of Jazz I think. She was shrouded in mystery and rumours, ideas that she had an affair with JFK then his brother, all sorts that people will never be able to know conclusively either way, and that intrigue is addictive. She had substance beyond the smile, and I really feel like that comes across in the photos taken of her. You look, and you want to know more. For me at least, your model is beautiful but I don’t want to step into the photo and ask her questions, yanno? Does that make any sense at all?”  
“That helps a lot actually, thank you.” William nodded appreciatively whilst saving the photoshop progress made so far.

“Who is she? The girl in the photo.”  
“Someone I know from New York, she offered to help me out with some photos as a thanks for me helping her put a TV bracket on her wall.”  
“And the shoot was the only reason she was in your bed?” Tyler asked openly, wanting his son to be able to talk freely about his sex life if he felt the urge to.  
“My bed? I wish I could afford satin sheets... this is a prop from the school’s studio.”  
“Ah okay,”  
“Yeh no, when I slept with her later, it was on my plain old cotton sheets unfortunately.” William sniffed a small laugh, and Tyler smiled.

“Name?”  
“Daisy.”  
“Are you gonna see her again?”  
“Who knows?” He shrugged. “Hopefully.”

“I just spoke to your dad.”  
“How was Grandpa’s medal presentation thing?”  
“The presentation sounded okay actually, just the dinner was kind of a drag. They didn’t let him sit on top table, and everyone near him was more concerned with discussing your Grandpa than anything else.”  
“And we all know how much Dad loves talking about Grandpa.” William raised his eyebrows.  
“Yep. Plus they sprung some news on him - they’re coming to visit tomorrow! Grandpa, Grandma, Chloe and Lance.”  
“Oh shiiittt,” he had the reaction that Tyler had thought but not said.  
“I know right, yay.”

“What time are they getting here? I was gonna go out with some buds from high school tomorrow night.”  
“I’m not sure. I don’t know when they’re arriving, when they’re leaving, where they’re staying, what we’re doing. I don’t know anything.”  
“How are your anxiety levels?”  
“Pretty high,” he was honest.  
“Okay, do you need to do some breathing patterns? Or like, one of your alphabet games? Or we could go for a run if that would help?”  
“I’m not quite at that point, thanks for checking though, just thought I’d come speak to my favourite son to settle down.”

“You know once number 3 is born and you get to bring him home, you won’t be able to call me your favourite son anymore.”  
“Course I will, in private, just like how I’ll be able to call number 3 my favourite son to his face behind closed doors too. That’s the magic of parenting.”  
“Woooowwww,” William laughed.

“Pop, are you scared of my Grandpa?”  
“Very.”  
“He’s not so scary if you know that he’s afraid of spiders.”  
“An arachnophobe hey? Hmm, that does help,” Tyler nodded amused. “Are you scared of your Grandpa?”  
“Nah, he’s a big baby who doesn’t like spiders and tried to learn Spanish from a free tourist phrasebook when he was stationed in Mexico, I mean yeah he’s got over a hundred confirmed kills, and that’s just the ones we’re allowed to know about, and yeah he did once tell me the story of how he strangled a man to death with his bare hands over the dinner table at Christmas when I was 13, but he’s all show. What’s to be scared of?”

Tyler sighed deeply, trying to rationalise that a soldier wasn’t the same as an irrationally violent person, and he had no reason to be afraid. After all, he was engaged to a soldier, lived with a soldier, had kids with a soldier. And yet Todd’s dad was a different breed because he wasn’t haunted by the deaths like Todd was, he didn’t wake up soaked in sweat and screaming on a monthly basis like Todd did, he didn’t feel regret like Todd did. Jack was excited by war, and that chilled Tyler to his core.

“You okay Pop?”  
“Ah, it’s only mild terror, don’t worry about it kiddo.”  
“You and me, we’ll fight them off together. The photographer and the musician against the 3 marines and a grandma so tough she can put up with them.” William raised his fists with fierce grimace, making Tyler chuckle before he sighed again.

 

 

After Todd left the army on the decision of the psychologist who deemed him too traumatised and too suicidal, he couldn’t bare to go home to his family in Arizona, knowing they’d all experienced loss on the front line but had all managed to persevere whilst he crumbled. He preferred to leave the states for a while rather than face their judgement, and so he went to Paris.

In Paris the conversational French he already possessed improved to a level of near-fluency, but every other aspect of his life had taken a dramatic down turn. His idea of a coping mechanism was to go on bender after bender, not stopping to take stock or give his liver a break for over a year, until he received a call from an unknown number. Angela. They’d met at a club and then gone back to her place, and 9 weeks later she’d missed two periods.

Todd’s first reaction was to run, again, and he went back to the US but again couldn’t manage Arizona and the family members who lived there. Instead he remembered all the places he had moved to as a kid, and recalled Ohio had a nice feeling of stillness. Nothing too exciting happened in Ohio, and so he was on the first plane there.

Initially the plan was to ignore Angela, and it worked for a few weeks. Then when she reached month 5 of pregnancy, she started freaking out, and in turn so did he. He confessed all to his sister in a drunken phone call, which predictably she had not kept private, and his father had flown to Ohio to yell at him. He yelled for about an hour, demanding he fly back to France to marry the girl and raise the child, not caring that he was gay and felt no attraction towards her at all, just fell into her bed in a drunken drug fuelled haze. Once the yelling was done, he left again.

Todd did his best to get on with his new life in Ohio, although there wasn’t much change. He was still drinking, he was still partying, he was still having flashbacks so violent they pushed him towards suicide, and he still didn’t check before he crossed the road. It was only after a call from Angela in which she sobbed that they were beyond legal abortion cutoff and so she was going to throw herself down the stairs to get rid of the foetus that Todd realised he had to step in.

By the next day he was on her doorstep, and the first thing she did was slap him in the face. It was deserved. He then had to try his best to quickly pick up the French for all things baby related, and somehow managed to convince her to hold off on any attempt to hurt herself or the baby. They agreed to put them up for adoption. If he had known earlier that she didn’t want the child then he would have fully supported her in getting an abortion, but they’d left it too late and so all they could do was wait. Angela stayed in her apartment and cursed Todd and the child a lot, whilst Todd went back to the Paris club scene and back to meaningless sex, although he tended to opt for men - it was safer that way.

William was born 7 weeks early, and they were not ready in the slightest. It wasn’t that they needed to buy baby clothes or furnish a nursery or take parenting classes, they were just hoping to leave the baby at the hospital and walk away, but they were not ready to undergo the life changing act of labour. Angela, in her rejection of the baby, had not made a birthing plan, and Todd had not read up enough to know how to guide her through the pain. The labour was long, a little over 16 hours, and when it was finally over and the tiny child was finally out in the world, Todd had wept.

He cried a lot at that stage in his life. He cried for Peter, his lost best friend, and he cried over the loneliness of his life abroad, and he cried at the memories of his time served. The moment he held William was the first time in his life that he had wept with joy.

Because he was born moderately premature and very underweight, they had to keep him in the hospital for a few days. Todd’s French wasn’t good enough to understand the medical jargon, but he didn’t want to talk to anyone, he just wanted to sit by his son’s incubator and watch him sleep. Angela also came to visit once, but her heart was not so easily swayed as Todd’s, and she didn’t come back.

When he was well enough to be discharged, just over 10 days later, the plan had been to have him fostered, but Todd went to Angela’s apartment and pleaded that she allowed him to take the baby home. Initially she had said no, that she didn’t want anything to do with him, but once Todd promised to raise William alone in America, over 6000km away, she eventually gave him her blessing.

All the advice online and from the doctors and the NICU had been that a baby could fly from 2 days old, but Todd’s 10 day old son felt far too little and far too fragile to be crammed into a plane, and so he stayed in Paris for another week, and the learning curve was steep but he enjoyed every second of it. Diapers were far more complicated than anyone had ever told him, and finding clothes to fit his petite son was impossible. Even the tiniest newborn sizes were excessively large, but that just allowed for lots of skin to skin contact time.

After saying goodbye to Angela and letting her know she could visit William whenever she wanted to, Todd and William hopped on an afternoon flight back to Ohio and the younger slept the entire duration. Those first few weeks, he slept a lot, he barely cried, and he drank his bottles without complaint. When Todd caved and eventually told his family that he’d come back from Paris with a baby but no wife, they forced him to go to Arizona, and so he did. He’d left almost 3 years prior with his best friend following a promotion to corporal and looking forward to another tour in Afghanistan, and returned with PTSD and a son.

William was well behaved the entire week he stayed with his family, and even though his parents wanted to correct every technique he’d acquired in the first month of caring for his son, they had to admit he was doing a pretty good job.

Once back in Ohio, William started becoming more aware of his surroundings, and more active. He needed constant entertainment or else he cried, for a few weeks that meant Todd was living off little pockets of sleep dotted around William’s nap schedule, and he almost contemplated going back to Arizona to ask for help. But he knew deep down he wanted to be a different type of parent to his own, so he stayed in Ohio and reached out to a local baby group for support.

He liked the baby group. He got praised for raising a child by himself, something that women did every single day without any praise at all, but he grew to love the women around him, and made his first proper friends in Ohio. One baby group grew to another and another, and then he met husbands of the mothers at various barbecues, all filling their role as chief griller, and made some male friends for the first time since leaving the army. William started to sit up, and then crawl, and before he knew it he was walking and going to nursery 4 mornings a week.

Todd’s life for 3 years was growing up too fast, and without him Todd felt empty. For the first few weeks of nursery he sat around the apartment and did nothing but count down the hours until he’d get to see him again, but eventually a friend of his gave him a wake up call that William wasn’t going to get any younger, and he was going to get more independent each and every day. That friend then offered Todd a job in his finance company, and admittedly begrudgingly, he started part time.

He grew to love the work, but nothing compared to the conversations he would have with William, the babbling child constantly talking about rocket ships and squirrels and spiderman, half the words in French and half in English. For a while Todd had regretted raising him bilingual since none of his buddies at nursery could understand him when he accidentally got confused and used French vocab, but by the time he started in kindergarten, he had the whole language business figured out.

Todd continued his wider education by starting him in piano lessons as early as possible with the school music teacher, and continued to widen his life outside of William by dating said school music teacher. And now-

“Oi! Fuckwad!” His head was suddenly smashed into the car window he had been staring out of whilst day dreaming.  
“What the fuck?! What?!” Todd snapped at his older brother Lance.  
“Mom asked you a fucking question dipshit!”  
“What?!”  
“Since you never have us round, I dunno where the fuck you live. Care to give us directions or should I keep on this highway till we hit Canada? Hmm?”  
“Mom you’ve been to my house twice this year already!”  
“You put us in a hotel last time, your own parents.”  
“You put me in a hotel last night Mom!”  
“Enough, both of you, I’m sick of your shit. Tara it’s the next left, Todd, try to be less of an asshole for once?” Dad snapped and the car fell silent.

 

 

  
“They’re here.” William said from his vantage point at the window. Isabel and Tyler both held their breath. “I’ll answer the door.”  
“Thanks William,” Tyler called after him as he scurried out of the room.

Isabel felt the same uncomfortable unease as he did, not knowing how the next few days were going to go. Her older brother had the advantage of blood, even if he somehow messed up the interaction, the Barricks were obliged to love him to a certain extent because their blood ran through his veins. When it came to Isabel and Tyler, they were stuck to the family by adoption paperwork and an engagement ring, and both feared the material possessions could melt away if they didn’t watch their step. Their affinity was conditional, William had consanguinity on his side.

“Babe,” Todd was the first in, jogging with bag in hand, and came straight over to Tyler, kissing him on the lips quickly. “I am so sorry, I am so sorry,”  
“S’fine Todd, I’m 48, a big boy, I can take a few anxious days,”  
“2 days and they’re gone.”  
“I’ll be alright Todd.” Tyler tried to reassure him. “Good to see you love, I missed you.”  
“I missed you too, and you gorgeous, hello,” he left Tyler’s side to go and hug Isabel instead, kissing her temple fondly.

Tyler watched the pair for a moment, but his breath was snatched as they were joined by 3 individuals dressed in formal army dress uniforms, Todd’s two siblings both marines and decorated with many many ribbons, whilst his father was in three star lieutenant general attire with double the amount of ribbons amounting to a huge square on his chest. Todd had opted for jeans and a t-shirt. Behind them came Grandma Tara, smaller, much smaller, but hair in a slick bun and skin so thick she was practically bullet proof. Tyler was almost more scared of her than he was the others.

“Sir, congratulations on your award.” Tyler held his hand out which Jack firmly shook.  
“Sincere.” He laughed at him, not releasing his hand.  
“I meant it with all sincerity sir,”  
“Oh did you now? Name the award then.”  
“Dad.” Todd warned protectively.  
“I’m afraid I can’t name it sir, but that doesn’t hinder my gratitude for you and the service you’ve done our country.”  
“It was the defence distinguished service medal, maybe write it down for next time?”  
“Alright Dad, alright, enough now,”  
“I’m only playing, Ty knows that.” The general laughed again, slapping Tyler’s arm with a fondness they didn’t actually possess. “Liberals, you can’t take jokes these days.”  
“We’re 10 seconds in, let’s not get onto politics already.” Todd begged with a groan, and finally Jack let go of his hand so that he could move onto shake Lance’s hand instead.

“Long time no see,”  
“Yeah, too long, far too long,” Tyler lied, smiling and holding eye contact with his brother-in-law.

“Oh, so they get handshakes but I get a hug? Why, cos I’m a chick?” Chloe flinched as he reached both arms out towards her, and Tyler’s heart felt like it was about to smash his ribs, confrontation triggering anxiety that was bubbling away and eroding his flesh.  
“Since when were you a feminist warrior Chlo? Don’t be a dick, why are you all being dicks? Please, be nice to the love of my life?” Todd stepped in again.  
“Yeh, play nice Chlo,” Lance raised his eyebrows and Tyler felt like the butt of a joke he didn’t want to be involved in. He didn’t need people to play nice, he just wanted to be respected. Maybe he didn’t fight for a living but he still deserved respect.

“Put that thing away.” Tara lightly slapped the hand he extended to her, not wanting to offend her like he had Chloe, but still managing to miss the mark. “Give me a hug,”  
“Of course Mrs Barrick, it’s so lovely to see you, welcome to our home.” He lied whilst hugging the deceptively strong woman.

Once he stepped back, he watched Isabel also going through the same horrible welcome, and when she finished her way down the line of judgement, he made sure to wrap an arm around her shoulder in comforting support. He wished the worst was over, but he knew that it was only just beginning.

“You guys didn’t come to Arizona, didn’t come for my ceremony. Didn’t you want to support your Grandpa?” Jack turned on the two children.  
“I wanted to come Grandpa, I did,” Isabel appeased him.  
“Dad you only gave me a +1, not a +3. I’m not going to choose between my children, and I won’t take my fiancé and leave my children alone. I had no option but to go by myself.”  
“They’re hardly children Todd, William, you’re what, 18?”  
“20 Grandpa. You came to my birthday meal, remember? After Christmas? You ranted at the waitress for like 10 minutes because there was a vegan burger on the menu and for whatever reason it was offending you.” William didn’t mind speaking back to him, and if Tyler wasn’t utterly terrified, he would have been amused.  
“20 years old, far old enough to babysit Isabel.”

“Dad, you didn’t include them on the invite list or seating plan, so they couldn’t come. But even if you had, I don’t want them around a bunch of jumped up lieutenants and generals who think war is a gift from the gods, when everyone in this room knows that I’m raising children who yearn for peace.”  
“Oh here we fucking go,” Tara rolled her eyes. “Todd could you leave off the propaganda for 2 minutes? It’s your Dad’s big week.”  
“Mom he’s got dozens of these medals, dozens and dozens, I mean I’ve been to at least 10 of these ego-parties! And can we stop pretending like this is something that should even be celebrated?! Dad you killed a bunch of people - and it wasn’t even you! You sat in a tent with a coffee and ordered a bunch of poor kids to do it for you! Kids that are gonna be traumati-“  
“Trauma is your favourite fucking word these days Todd,” Lance sighed.  
“I have PTSD! Trauma is my everyday Lance!”

“Was it a long drive? From the airport?” William spoke up after a brief moment of silence, and was shot daggers by everyone, except Tyler who resisted a smile to himself.

“Should I put on the kettle?”  
“Great idea Tyler, add some whiskey to mine.” Tara pulled a chair from the kitchen table and rubbed her temples.

 

 

  
“Have you got some cuff links I could borrow?”  
“Cuff links?” Todd came to the door of their ensuite, shirtless, whilst patting on some aftershave.  
“Yeah, to keep my sleeves down.”  
“Feeling self conscious about scars?”  
“Self conscious about everything.” Tyler ran his hands through his hair, stressed. “Do you mind?”  
“Course not darling, I’ve got half a dozen pairs in the top drawer, help yourself.” He pointed and Tyler went over and pulled it open, sifting through the boxes.

“Why don’t you wear your personalised ones? With your initials?”  
“From my wedding?”  
“Yeah,” Todd called from the bathroom.  
“You don’t think that’s weird? To wear cufflinks that were a gift for my wedding with my first fiancé to dinner with my second fiancé’s family?”  
“No I don’t think that’s weird at all. If that’s the only reason you don’t wanna wear them, I say fuck what other people think, do it. But if you don’t want Josh to have to bare witness to all the crap my family will undoubtedly spout, or you’re just not feeling up to it then by all means borrow some of mine. I’ve got those really cute frog ones that Issy got me for my 40th?”  
“Hmm,”

“You managing okay?” Todd joined him in the bedroom, wrapping his arms around his waist and leaning into him.  
“Worried about you more than anything.”  
“Me?”  
“Yeah, they get under your skin more effectively than anything I’ve seen before, and I don’t want things to escalate.”  
“As tempting as it might be, I won’t punch anyone, I promise.”  
“Thank you,” he sighed through a smile, melting into Todd’s stronger body. “I’m more concerned with you getting upset and potentially triggering yourself though. I mean you got pretty worked up earlier when Lance made that comment about trauma.”  
“Because Lance is a pompous twat who needs to learn to shut his mouth more often.”  
“No comment.” Tyler sniffed lightheartedly, agreeing.

“Just remember that we, your family unit, love you and agree with you on all your beliefs surrounding the military. A few hours exposed to your family isn’t going to convert the kids into some trigger happy privates who can’t wait to hop on the next outgoing flight to some distant war zone. They’re not gonna be changed by the next few days. Similarly, your family aren’t gonna be swayed either darling. They all love their positions, and you going off about how senseless the violence is isn’t gonna change that. I know it’s hard to bite your tongue, but for the sake of the peace - which we value so much - can you please try to suppress those urges to accuse them?”  
“I’ll do my best.”  
“Thank you, that’s all I can ask,” Tyler turned to kiss him softly.

“Papa, Dad? Oh,” Isabel walked into their room to find them mid kiss, Todd shirtless. “Sorry, sorry,”  
“S’all good sweetness, everything okay?” Todd asked her with his arm around Tyler’s waist.  
“Yeah it’s all fine, all okay, I was just wondering how much longer you guys will be? Cos everyone else is kinda ready to go?”  
“And you don’t wanna be trapped hosting, I hear you.” The younger of the two fathers laughed.  
“I kinda ran out of things to say,” she admitted.  
“Don’t worry kiddo, l’m ready, I’ll come lend you a hand.” Tyler reassured her, quickly dipping his hand back into the drawer and pulling out the personalised cufflinks his father had given to him on the morning of his wedding. He grabbed the light brown wool herringbone blazer from where he’d left it on the side of the bed, and with that he was ready to go.

“I’ll be down in two ticks, lemme just throw a shirt on and style my hair a bit, and then I promise I’ll join you?”  
“See you in a minute,” Tyler smiled then followed his daughter down the stairs and towards the lions’ den.

Isabel had dressed up, wearing a formal A-line full skirt with a kitten heel and a simple burgundy turtle neck sweater, and she looked beautiful. He was slightly surprised to find that Chloe, Lance and Jack had used the half hour of freshening up time to make absolutely no changes to their appearance. Then again, they’d worn their uniforms on the plane, so Tyler wasn’t really that surprised they’d wear them to the restaurant as well. William had joined him in wearing a formal yet comfortable suit, and Grandma Tara had changed her top and tightened her bun even more.

“Hello hello,” Tyler greeted them with feigned enthusiasm as he went into the living room where they all sat in awkward silence.  
“Is that son of mine gonna show up?”  
“Yeh, he had a shower so he’s just getting dressed. Won’t take him long.”  
“Pff, unlikely. Ever since he went gay it started taking him twice as long to put any fucking clothes on.” Lance rolled his eyes.  
“Right.” Tyler ignored the comment. “Well he’ll only be a moment. Can I get anybody any drinks whilst we wait?”  
“You’re good at getting people drinks.” Chloe murmured and Tyler didn’t know whether he was meant to have heard it or not.  
“One of my many talents.” He intentionally didn’t rise to it.

With the lack of response from anyone, Tyler took to threading his cufflinks through the appropriate holes in his crisp white shirt instead, and thankfully he managed to do it with relative ease, not fumbling too much. The Barricks were definitely the type of people to rip him apart for even a small thing like not being able to do his cuffs himself, but he didn’t have to worry about that this time round. Success. There was still plenty for him to be slated over - the night was still young.

“Bout fucking time.” Tara muttered when Todd finally joined them.

 

 

 

“How’s that, uh, that little project of yours going Tyler?”  
“The Hemmings-Joseph Initiative?” He was pleasantly surprised that Jack had remembered.  
“What the fuck is that? No, the, uh, the piano thing you do?”  
“You mean my career?” Tyler quickly realised that instead the man was insulting and belittling his achievements. That was more like it.  
“Dad he works with disabled children, try not to shit on him too much.” Todd sighed whilst eating a mouthful of his risotto.  
“Special kids? Didn’t you teach William the piano? You calling him retarded or something?”  
“I literally don’t get how your brain works.” Todd picked up his water and looked the other away, deep frustration creased into his forehead.

“I taught William yes, I was an elementary school music teacher for the first decade of my career, but I got inspired and retrained in musical therapy for severely disabled children a few years ago, and now I’m based at a specialist school for children with special needs.”  
“You have to train to do that?”  
“Yes sir, have to be licensed.”  
“To do what? Stick a tambourine in a cripple’s hand?”  
“Jack you’re using a lot of slurs, I’m gonna need you to stop.” Tyler stood up for what he was passionate in.  
“Or what?”  
“Or else I’ll record you and send it to the fucking press Dad, wonder what the Secretary of Defence would have to say about his recently rewarded lieutenant general making fun of disabled kids. Probably not great for PR, which is what makes the world spin these days.” Todd again defended him.

“That’s what I thought. Now why don’t you ask my fiancé about his Initiative?”  
“Why the fuck would I do that?”  
“Because he is improving people’s lives, and you could take a leaf out of his book. He’s improving care in psychiatric facilities across the country, they’re in 34 states now, they just won the Laurel Prize for betterment of society, and they’re making a positive difference with peace at their core. Because we spent the first hour of this dinner listening to you talk about shooting people living in poverty in the head because they dared to exist, and because if you don’t ask then there’s very little reason for me to stick around. If you wanna keep being a self indulgent ass, I’ll leave you with the other self indulgent asses,” he gestured to the other end of the table. “And I’ll take my fiancé and my kids home. Enjoy your time in Ohio Dad, don’t call me.”  
“Oi, where the fuck do you think you’re going?!” Jack cried out in protest when Todd stood up and tossed his napkin down onto the table.  
“Away from you.” He hissed whilst heading towards the bathrooms.

The other end of the table were still in conversation, and although Tyler couldn’t latch onto exactly what they were discussing, it sounded slightly less confrontational. He met William’s eyes as he watched his Dad walk away, and he looked worried, so Tyler did his best to hint that, whilst upset, his dad was managing pretty well with the contents of the evening. William didn’t believe him, but maybe he was lying anyway, so it didn’t make much difference.

“What’s got his knickers in a twist?” Jack sneered into his beer.  
“I think he’s tired of fighting all the time.” Tyler stopped eating his pasta and stared into the cold eyes of the man opposite him instead.  
“What does he know about fighting?”  
“He did two tours of Helmand.”  
“Oh boofuckinghoo, so has half the male population of this country. And may I just add, that was 20 fucking years ago??”  
“And for those 20 years he has been plagued with flashbacks to those days, flashbacks that terrorise him and make him wish he was dead. He’s tired of it all.”

“Do you know how many tours I’ve done?”  
“Nope, and I don’t especially care Jack.”  
“I can’t even remember, but enough to see more than my fair share of fucked up shit. Real shit, the type of shit that gives you nightmares if you let it. What did he see? Fuck all.”  
“He saw his best friend get blown up.”  
“He got knocked out, he didn’t see a thing.”  
“The explosion that ripped his friend apart was the same explosion that knocked him out a half second later. He saw it all.”  
“That’s what he likes to tell himself so he’s got a good sob story, but he didn’t see shit Tyler. IEDs don’t work in slow motion, it’s boom.” He slammed his fist into the table to illustrate his point. “Instantaneous. None of this slow motion Hollywood crap, just a flash that would blind him and a shit ton of dust to blur it. If he’s claiming to have seen little chunks of Peter flying around then he’s a pathological liar.”  
“Don’t call my fiancé a liar.”  
“I’m calling him a pathological liar.”  
“What the fuck did you just say about my dad??” William caught on.  
“You heard me.”

William stood up from his seat and walked towards him, and for a brief moment Tyler thought he might be about to punch Jack in the face in the middle of the restaurant, but thankfully he resisted and instead sat down next to Tyler.

“Listen close, old man, I don’t give a shit if you wanna live in your dark corner of Arizona and polish your guns and scream at the traffic, I don’t give a shit if you, aged 74, still need to scurry off to some tent in the middle of a war zone to bark at new recruits in order to feel powerful, I don’t even give a shit if you trash talk about my dad in that big house of yours built with the money you earned killing people. I don’t give a shit. But don’t you dare fucking come here, to my home, and talk to either of my dads like that.”  
“What are you gonna do about it William? You’re a photography student!”  
“Yes I am, and I’m proud of that! I’m not gonna threaten you Jack, I’m not so fragile that I need to threaten you, I’m just warning you that these stakes you’re driving between you and us, they’re gonna come back to bite you. Excuse me.” William stood up and headed towards the same bathroom his dad had gone to.

“This whole fucking family is full of snowflakes.”  
“Then why did you come?”  
“To see my grandkids Tyler.”  
“Well you’ve already pissed Will off, why don’t you insult Issy now and then you’re free to leave. Job done.”  
“I’m here to ensure that you, you people, you’re not getting inside their heads with your liberal agenda.”  
“Jack, I’m a gay special needs music therapist with schizoaffective disorder, course I’m a liberal, and I’m doing everything in my power to raise my children as open minded and caring individuals too. I’m more than willing to let them be around conservative republicans, I think it’s important for them to understand the full picture, but you need to respect my right to raise my children as I wish.”  
“They’re not your children.”  
“What??”  
“William’s Angela and Todd’s kid, Isabel’s the kid of some degenerate junkies, neither of them are yours. God made it so that you couldn’t breed, couldn’t pass on your defections-“  
“Isabel sweetheart? I think it’s time for us to head back home. Dad and William will meet us later, and I’ll get one of the waitresses to put your dinner in a takeaway box for Dad to pick up when he leaves, alright? Let’s go.”  
“Okay.” She nodded and stood up immediately, clearly loathing the conversation she was trapped in too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so far I've watched livestreams of all the tour, and because i'm in the UK that means I'm getting fuck all sleep, but it's wooorrrtthh ittt, so excited for my tour dates to come up in March


	2. Chapter 2

Todd and William arrived home about an hour after Tyler and Isabel. The father and son had also walked out of the restaurant not long after them, but had opted to go via the park to get some fresh air. His fiancé had insisted he was fine, but Tyler knew otherwise, and William had subtly suggested there may or may not have been a flash of panicky anger in which he punched a tree half a dozen times. The bloodied knuckles suggested it probably did happen.

It wasn’t until they climbed into bed together that evening that Todd confessed all, going on another feverish rant about the burning hatred he had for his family, and occasionally speaking so quickly that his guard was let down and he revealed something vulnerable about his past. Even after 16 years together, Tyler was still learning new things about him.

He learnt that, when he was 9 years old, his father had made Todd skin a roe deer and he’d cried the whole time. He also learnt that, when he was 6 years old, Chloe had tricked him into thinking there was a monster in his closet and he got so scared that he slept in the bathtub with his blanket for 3 weeks.

It wasn’t to say that Todd still held those relatively small childhood memories against his family, he’d moved onto bigger and better reasons to detest them, but every small part stacked up and up and up like building blocks of a wall between him and them. A separation between him and them.

For 50ish weeks of the year, it didn’t bother Todd or the Joseph-Barrick family, but for those few days a year, every other Christmas, every other Thanksgiving, every other Fourth of July and every other Easter Sunday, the days they were forced to spend time together, it pretty much always ended in arguments and Todd punching something.

Tyler was just glad that, touch wood, there were no holes in their walls to fill this time round. He guessed that the Barricks finished their dinner, went back to their hotel, and were going back to Arizona on the earliest flight.

“You want some breakfast?” Tyler yawned as he rolled out of bed and staggered over to the mirror, running his hand through his messy hair. He’d slept in red checkered trousers and no shirt; his scars had faded significantly and he was almost a decade self harm free, but still they stood out as he looked at himself for a little too long.

“You offering to make me breakfast in bed?”  
“I am,” he turned round and smiled softly.  
“That would be lovely, thank you darling.”  
“Is there still some of that bacon in the fridge?”  
“Couple of rashers, yeah,”  
“How do bacon pancakes sound?”  
“Like you’re my favourite person in the world.”  
“All it took was a bribe.” Tyler laughed, unplugging his phone so he could use Josh’s recipe. “I’ll be back in like 10 minutes.”  
“I miss you already,”  
“You big sop,” he teased as he walked out of their bedroom and across the landing, jogging down the stairs with a hop to his step.

There was optimism to be found in the day after the day before, a strange kind of joy in the celebration of the fact they’d survived another visit. Maybe not without a scratch, but nonetheless they’d survived.

He almost began to whistle a little tune when suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of a figure dressed in black sat in the front room.

Tyler’s immediate reaction was to gasp and hide behind the wall, then with shaking breaths, he took his phone from his pocket and carefully took a photograph.

It was Todd’s dad Jack.

The logical answer was that it was a hallucination, and he immediately sent the photo to the household’s group chat with the caption: can you see what I see? Or am I sick?

“Tyler? Is that you? Just the guy I needed to speak with.” The man’s voice boomed, and he was momentarily paralysed, but managed to tip toe into the living room. “Wow, that’s, that’s a lot of scars.”  
“I, I need a shirt.” He stuttered before literally sprinting out of the room and running up the stairs, back to the safety of his bedroom.

“Woah, that was quick.” Todd smiled, but it immediately fell when he noticed the panic. “What’s wrong?”  
“Your dad,” he gulped, closing the door behind him. “He, he,”  
“What? You can tell me,” his fiancé climbed out of bed and came to his side, reaching out and holding him with a frown.  
“He’s here.” Tyler fumbled but managed to show him the picture that he obviously hadn’t seen yet. “You see him, don’t you? It’s not, it’s not me.”  
“How the fuck did he get in my fucking house?! What the fuck?!”  
“You see him, tell me you see him, please,” he was starting to tear up without even really knowing why.  
“I see him.” Todd calmed down a little and spoke smoothly, understanding Tyler was panicking.

“Breathe darling, I see him, he’s real, you’re not getting bad again, I see him.”  
“I’m not getting bad again.”  
“You’re not getting bad again.” He pressed a reassuring kiss to Tyler’s forehead.

“I’m gonna go kick him out, why don’t you sit down, have a drink, take your morning meds? Just try and settle as best you can, then I’ll come straight back up and we can go back to cuddling in bed.”

“Wait, no,” Tyler stopped him once he took a step towards the door.  
“Yeh?”  
“He, he said he wanted to talk to me.”  
“Tyler, honey, he’s an asshole. You don’t need to do anything he says.”  
“Todd I want to.”  
“You want to? Why?”  
“Because, because,” he was still feeling shaky and couldn’t quite wield his words how he wanted to. “Because he said some stuff to me, last night, about my children, and I want to confront him about it.”  
“I’ll confront him on your behalf.”  
“You weren’t there when he said it.”  
“But I know what he said.”

“Please Todd, lemme try by myself? I want to do this by myself.”  
“I can come down with you? To support you? Or do you want to be completely by yourself?”  
“I love you, but if you see him you’re gonna get mad and you’re gonna snap. Please, I want to try a rational conversation, calm conversation, so that I can explain to him why he’s wrong. I want to show him I’m a good father, please, try and stay up here?”

Todd sighed, clearly contemplating the situation, and Tyler took a moment to rub his eyes with his palms and take some deeper breaths, slowing his heart rate down a little.

“I’ll be here if you need me, okay? And don’t let him get away with anything, shut him down the moment he steps out of line.”  
“I will.”  
“I’m sorry we’re in this mess babe.” Todd sighed again.  
“S’okay.”  
“I think after this I’m gonna go take your parents some flowers because they are actual saints.”  
“Indeed they are, and I think they’d like that a lot.” Tyler was unendingly grateful for the love he received from his amazing mother and father. Having dated two men from unsupportive homes, he had only grown more thankful for the blessing he’d received in the family department.

“He commented on my scars Todd,”  
“Sorry darling,”  
“Not your fault,” he sniffed, going over to the drawer and pulling out a hoodie that he could hide behind. “None of this is your fault, don’t think that, just stay here and I’ll go talk to him.”  
“Good luck, I love you,”  
“I love you too.” He smiled tiredly, then opened the bedroom door again and made his way back down the stairs for a second time, this time with considerably more anxiety than before.

Jack was still sat in the living room, and was staring at the wall to his left where Tyler and Todd had recently updated all their photo frames. About 90% of the photos were taken by William at some point over the years, but they both did their best to make sure there were still plenty of pictures of the photographer too. It made Tyler smile when he looked at all their fond memories, but Jack’s lips were stern.

“I didn’t think you were coming back.”  
“Well, as Lance said last night, I’m gay so it takes me twice as long to get dressed.” Tyler raised his eyebrows whilst crossing his arms across his chest, trying to fake confidence. “How did you get into our home Jack? The doors were all locked.”  
“No point locking them if you leave the key under the plant pot. You should get a chain and bolts too.”  
“We have bolts, but we only use them when Todd’s paranoia is playing up.”  
“The danger doesn’t go away just because you’re not thinking about it.”  
“And what, you’re the danger?”  
“I could be some crazy murderer.” Jack argued and Tyler wanted to snap that he was exactly who he was, but held his tongue, not wanting to be a hypocrite to Todd. “It took me 2 seconds to get in, you should really up your security.”  
“Noted.”

“Thanks for sticking Tara and I with the check last night, that was really nice of you.”  
“How much did it set you back? I’ll pay you right now if that’s the only reason you’re here.”  
“S’not important.”  
“So why exactly did you break into our house Jack?”  
“Because I need to talk to you.”  
“I’m all ears.”

“You standing whilst I sit - is this your attempt at a power play?” He gestured to Tyler.  
“The hell do I know about power plays? I’m a gay musician who-“  
“I get it, you’re a fucking gay musician, every time you say that it’s like a dagger to my heart,”  
“Why?”  
“Because you’re not who I want as a son-in-law.”  
“Good job I don’t give a rat’s ass, hey?”

“Sit down Tyler.”  
“More than happy to Jack, wouldn’t want you feeling intimidated by a gay musician.” He sat down on the other arm of the L shaped couch bitterly.

“I’ll go straight into it. Chloe, she found this video a few weeks ago, on the Facebooks, of you and Todd. You were talking about children.”  
“Oh you saw our adoption appeal video hey?” Tyler hadn’t wanted him to initially, but was secretly pleased that they’d stumbled across it. “William shot the whole thing. He prefers to work in stills but we managed to convince him to try his hand at videography, and he ended up producing a great video, don’t you agree?”  
“An adoption appeal video? What the fuck is that?”  
“Quite simple really, it’s a video where we appealed to adopt a child. Hence adoption appeal video.” He was intentionally sarcastic because he knew it was pissing him off.

“You gonna tell me seriously what the fuck it was? ‘Meet our family’ - why the hell does anyone want to meet your family?”  
“Sure, I’ll explain since you’re not quite getting the hang of it. We made a video in which we introduced ourselves and a little about our lives in hopes of someone seeing it who might then want to include us in their adoption plan. And voila, it was a success.”  
“A success?” The general frowned.  
“Two weeks after posting the video we were approached by a lovely couple who’ve got pregnant at a time that doesn’t really suit the stage of their lives they’re in currently. Beautiful couple, Lilly and Jake. And they’ve decided to give Todd and me the greatest gift we’ll ever receive, they’re going to give us their baby boy once he’s born.”

“You’re having a baby?” Jack asked without any hint of viciousness.  
“Yeh. Lilly’s 8 months pregnant next week, the due date is August 16th and we should be able to bring him home the same day.”  
“And you can do that? Just take someone else’s baby?”  
“There was a hell of a lot of paperwork to do, and we had to participate in a home study for 6 months before the agency we used would accept us, but yeah, we’re fully ready to add another little dude to our gang, now it’s just the waiting game until he drops.”  
“Oh,” he seemed genuinely in shock, and so Tyler gave him a moment. As tempting as it was to rip apart the old man in front of him, he couldn’t think cruel thoughts with baby number 3 in his thoughts.

“You didn’t tell us.”  
“Did you need to know?”  
“That I’m having a grandson? Would have been nice to at least get an email or something.”  
“Our priorities have been on getting ready for the baby, not screaming the news from the hilltops.”  
“I take it your parents know though?”  
“Yeah course, my mom’s so excited bless her, and she’s really close with Lilly - the birth mother - she goes round to check on her at least a couple of times a week, making sure she’s eating right and not getting too stressed, and they go on walks round the park for exercise to help keep Kate healthy. She’s been wonderful, my whole family have.”

“Did you know Todd didn’t even tell us he adopted William until he was 6 weeks old?”  
“Well he didn’t adopt William, he’s his birth son,”  
“But he adopted him off his mom.”  
“No, Angela surrendered all custody, Todd didn’t have to adopt him. A baby is the child of two individuals, not just the mom, and it’s sexist to suggest otherwise.”  
“You know what I mean. 6 weeks, and that was only because Tara called and heard William crying in the background.”  
“I mean, yeh, what do you want me to say?” Tyler shrugged. “He doesn’t want you guys involved in the raising of his children.”

Again Jack didn’t say anything for a minute.

“Why do you want your family involved?”  
“Because they’re brilliant human beings. I have been through Hell, and consequently pushed them to the brink several times, and never once have they given up on me. They respect me, they love me, they like me. They want what’s best for me, and they saw me at my lowest once my husband died, so they deserve to see me at my most content with a newborn in my arms.”  
“And we don’t deserve to see Todd in that position?”  
“Were you there for him at his lowest? Or did he go to Paris to escape you at his lowest?”  
“I don’t have a clue where he went, he just fucked off for a year.”  
“He went to Paris. My parents went last summer and intentionally stayed in the same hotel as he was staying in when he got to take Will out of the NICU 20 years ago. That was where he had to teach himself to be a parent from scratch because he never had a good role model growing up - all he knew was that he wanted to be the opposite of you.”

“I’m surprised they let you have a kid.”  
“Yep, well I’m surprised they never took yours off you Jack.” Tyler sighed.  
“With those conditions of yours? You could seriously hurt them.”  
“You used to hit Todd, I guess you’re the expert on hurting children.”  
“He is a fucking pathological liar, I never once hit him!”  
“So you didn’t break his arm in three places on a hunting trip when he was 8?”  
“Kids have soft bones, I barely touched him.” Jack scoffed.  
“But you did touch him.”

“You’re one to talk Tyler, I’ve seen your criminal record, you’ve got a fair share of assault charges yourself, drugs too, right? And fuck me there’s a shit ton of mental health act sections.”  
“You saw my record? How did you see my record?” Tyler was in slight shock. He wasn’t ashamed, just felt like his privacy had been violated by the man.  
“How the fuck do you think I saw it? I’m a Lieutenant General in the marine corps, I can look at any record I want to.”  
“And rather than fighting terrorists, you decided to search up your son’s boyfriend. Wow.”  
“I’m tryna keep my family safe from crazy sons of bitches like you.”  
“I’m compos mentis, haven’t had an episode in almost 4 years, and I’m able to manage them when they come. I can assure you sir, they’re far safer with me than they are with you.”

“What are you gonna name the baby?” He changed the subject back again.  
“Still spitballing, haven’t settled yet.”  
“Call him Jack.”  
“I can promise you that’s pretty low down on the list, besides, don’t you already have a grandson called Jack?”  
“No.”  
“Yes you do, Lance’s kid is called Jack.”  
“Yeh but the baby momma’s crazy and ran off, Lance gets one weekend a month, it doesn’t count.”  
“It doesn’t count? Wow,” Tyler couldn’t help but laugh at the ludicrousness of the man.

“How about Josh? Gonna call him Josh?”  
“Leave my deceased husband’s name out of your mouth Jack, you don’t deserve to speak his name.”  
“Why you getting so precious?”  
“Because it’s been 20 years since he died and I barely have anything of his left. All his hoodies are being eaten by moths, the photos are fading, the letters and notes are disintegrating. One of the few things I’ll always have is his name, and no, I’m not ready to give that away to the next generation just yet.” Tyler replied, and thankfully Jack didn’t immediately jump down his throat.

“You must have known people who’ve died, you’re a damn soldier, surely you can empathise with my loss even a little bit.”  
“Every friend I’ve ever had is dead, doesn’t mean I get touchy about it. It’s God’s will. Gotta move on Tyler, onto bigger and better things.”  
“I’m not talking about a friend though Jack, he was my first love, he was my husband. Imagine if it was Tara-“  
“It’s not the same.” Jack immediately whipped back.  
“Why not?”  
“Because I love her.”  
“And I loved Josh.”  
“Homosexual love will never compare.”  
“Love is love, you dick.” Tyler didn’t like to cuss, but didn’t even hesitate.

“It’s a father issue thing, I read that in an article.”  
“What??”  
“Boys who are scared of their fathers or feel like they’ve failed their fathers, they go gay.”  
“Jack, you’re chatting absolute crap now.”  
“It’s true, isn’t it? Todd failed me and went gay, Josh got abused-“  
“How do you know that?”  
“Saw his sister’s police records too, she filed a restraining order against their parents for prolonged physical abuse after he died.”  
“You’re a stalker, you’re an actual stalker.” Tyler was in disbelief. “What gave you the right to look through his life like that?!”  
“I deserve to know who my son is fraternising with.”  
“How has this got anything to do with Todd?! You stalked my dead husband’s family!” He knew he was nearly yelling, but he felt like screaming in the man’s face.

“When you keep things from me, you force me to do my own research. You hid the baby from me, what else are you hiding?”  
“I wasn’t hiding the baby, I’m protecting him from a manipulative coward.”  
“Did you just call me a coward? Two days ago I was awarded the defence distinguished service medal for bravery in-“  
“I’m talking about the fact you’re unable to man up and accept that your son is gay.”  
“He has a baby with a woman, he’s not gay.”  
“He was drunk and coked up, it wasn’t based on attraction, it was a hook up that meant nothing to him and came in the wake of some life changing trauma. He didn’t like Angela. We’ve been dating for 16 years, we have a relationship built on love and attraction and trust, we-“  
“You’re making me sick.”  
“Good.” Tyler snapped, looking away for a moment to steady himself.

“I th-“  
“You’re going to lose contact with him entirely, you know that right?”  
“Huh?”  
“Todd, you’re gonna lose Todd at this rate. In a month we’ll have our little boy and I don’t want you anywhere near him, and if you think he’s going to choose you over me and our baby then you’re delusional.”  
“You’re the expert in delusions.”  
“Yes, yes I am.” He nodded firmly. “It’s not a threat Jack, it’s a warning. I’m a reasonable guy, if you take the time to educate yourself and maybe hop off that high horse, I’m more than willing to give you another chance. But if you continue to disrespect my sexuality, my mental health, my deceased husband, my career, my family - everything that I am, well why the hell would I let you near my son?”

“I am a good dad. I might not be like your dad, but I am a good dad.”  
“Are you though?” Tyler frowned, crossing his arms again. “What have you done for Todd that you think is good?”  
“I mean I fucking raised him, must have done something right or you wouldn’t be so in love with him.”  
“You didn’t even do that, you were away for most of his childhood, and when you came home you made him do stuff he didn’t want to do.”  
“Like what?”  
“Like compete with his brother who’s 3 years older than him in tyre flipping competitions and then laughing at him when he inevitably lost every time. Like taking him hunting and forcing him to shoot live animals and then butcher them even when he begged not to. Like forcing him to do mutton busting since he was 4 y-“  
“That’s our culture.”  
“Which you bullied him into participating in.”  
“It was funny!”  
“Not to him Jack! Not to him!”

“I’m a good dad.”  
“My dad’s an amazing father, he listens to me-“  
“He’s soft, he raised you soft, that’s why you’re gay.”  
“You raised your kids sternly and you still have a gay son. I have three straight siblings that he raised the exact same way as me; the only role that parenting plays in the sexuality of someone is how comfortable they are to accept themselves. You don’t ‘make’ someone gay.”

“You act so high and mighty Tyler, but what you’re doing is manipulative.”  
“How am I being manipulative?”  
“Telling me my son won’t talk to me and I can’t meet my new grandson unless I lose all my values and become a liberal.”  
“I’m not insinuating you need to be a liberal, I’m saying you need to respect me. All I’m asking is for human decency.” Tyler told him and he rolled his eyes. “And for the record, Todd is on the same page.”

“If that’s true then why didn’t he come and tell me himself?”  
“I volunteered because I thought he’d probably punch you.”  
“I’d prefer a fight than all this talk talk talking.”  
“Yep well I’m done too Jack, I’ve said my piece, it’s up to you whether you want to take my advice and change for the better, or whether you walk away and don’t come back. I’ll show you out.”

The soldier didn’t feel the need to address the comment, or even say any goodbyes. He simply stood up and walked at a quick pace out of the living room and into the hall, straight towards the door he had snuck through earlier.

“Always a pleasure Jack,”  
“Fuck off Tyler,” he sighed and walked away.

Tyler closed the door after him, intentionally locking it but not bothering with the bolt, then turned around and peered up the staircase, knowing Todd was sat on the third step from the top, wiping away tears.

“You hear it all?”  
“Couldn’t resist.” He shrugged once Tyler climbed the stairs and sat next to him. “I haven’t heard you swear in years.”  
“Save it for special occasions.” Tyler whispered as he wrapped an arm around his fiancé. “I was provoking him, I accept that, so please don’t think all the stuff he said was just on the tip of his tongue. I pushed some of it out of him.”  
“It was all in him though.”  
“Yeah,”  
“Fuuccckk,” Todd cried out, squeezing his eyes shut.

“I’m sorry baby, I’m so sorry.”  
“I’m sorry too, I’m sorry he went through your police records, and Josh’s and Ashley’s too, that’s so fucking wrong. I, um, I can try filing an abuse of power complaint? I don’t know how far it would be actioned because they’re all buddy buddy in the army, but I can try?”  
“It was wrong, but the damage is done. Don’t worry about it, alright? We’ve got better things to be focusing on than a homophobic douchebag.”  
“T minus 5 weeks till number 3 arrives.” Todd smiled through the tears.  
“My mom’s spending time with Lilly this afternoon, should I call and see whether we can tag along? Nice distraction from the last few days?”  
“That would be nice, yeah,”

 

 

  
Lilly was young, 19, and Tyler often questioned what it must look like to others, a heavily pregnant young woman walking round the park with two men in their 40s and a 71 year old woman. Isabel and William had joined them on that occasion, but had dashed off in pursuit of an ice cream truck with money from Nanny Kelly’s pocket.

After only 10 minutes strolling around the path filled with joggers and kids on scooters, Lilly requested they stop so that she could rest, and of course they did. Tyler’s mom and Todd both knew that he’d proposed to Josh on the steps of the bandstand in the middle of the park, and so they chose a spot in the other direction to set up their picnic.

Kelly had prepared a good spread of sandwiches and cookies and fruits, and a big bag of salted almonds to satisfy Lilly’s cravings. Recently Tyler had been questioning how fair it was for them to ask Lilly to sit on the floor for their frequent picnics, but she always insisted she actually found it more comfortable than some chairs, and so Todd and Tyler helped her down carefully, both providing their hoodies as cushioning for behind her back, before sitting down too. After maybe 5 minutes, Tyler slipped down to lying with his head in Todd’s lap, with the younger feeding him occasional mouthfuls of food as they chatted.

“And then I think Jake and I might go visit my mom in Idaho for a few days.” She shared her post-birth plans.  
“I think it’ll just be nice for you to be able to actually go places, not feel so trapped by the fact you can’t fly or really spend too long in a car. I remember feeling that way, especially when I was pregnant for the first time with Ty, just wanting to go somewhere, anywhere, but not being able to for weeks and weeks. Like in a little over a month from now you and Jake could go literally anywhere.”  
“In theory yeah,” she smiled softly, stroking her belly.

“Are you gonna road trip it? Or fly?” Todd asked.  
“Oh road trip, definitely road trip. It’s about 900 miles so it usually takes us 12 hours-ish? Which is the perfect length to listen to a really good playlist and talk to Jake about super random stuff to fill the time and-“ Lilly stopped with a wince, and everyone snapped up to look at her.

“Another Braxton Hicks contraction?” Kelly asked with a caring frown.  
“Yeh,” she responded through gritted teeth.  
“Alright darling, remember to treat it as a practice contraction, breathe through it like how we’re going to breathe through them next month, that’s it,” the grandmother gave advice to the new mother. “That’s it, good girl, well done.”

“They’re getting worse, aren’t they?” Todd asked.  
“I guess overall yeah probably a bit.”  
“But that specific one was a lot worse than the one you had when we met up with you earlier, I mean for that you managed to keep walking, just then you couldn’t even talk. They’re not meant to get worse.”  
“Todd don’t get overexcited, they fluctuate in intensity in the last few weeks of pregnancy, my one’s with Jay were crazy unpredictable. I went to the hospital twice thinking I’d gone into preterm labour, and both were false calls.”

“They’re just our bodies testing everything works, right? Like it’s strengthening the muscles in preparation for the real thing, right Kelly?”  
“That’s exactly right Lilly, yeah, you’re building those muscles and pumping oxygen rich blood to the placenta, just doing everything you can to look after our little fella.”  
“And it’s good practice for you so you can get to know those breathing patterns really well; it’s kinda like pre-test revision.” Tyler said and she nodded in agreement, still cupping her swollen belly.  
“Totally.”

“Wonder where William and Isabel got to?”  
“Yeah? I want my ice cream!” Todd complained. “What are the odds that they’ve taken the money and legged it?”  
“Oh they’re good kids really,” Nanny Kelly laughed.  
“And you’re gonna raise him to be a good kid too, right? Make sure he stays in school? And works hard?” Lilly needed her daily dose of reassurance.  
“Absolutely. Ty’s a teacher, Kelly was a teacher, we all value education and will absolutely make sure number 3 learns to love school as much as we all did and do.”  
“Good, cos I think these breathing patterns are the only thing I’ve ever studied in my life.” She laughed at herself, and they smiled too. She was a sweet girl.

“How are your plans for starting at the community college going?” Tyler asked.  
“Well I spoke to them with your mom last week and they said they recommend I start in the spring semester so I get a chance to rest, and in case the baby is late or something, and then at the moment there’s a few courses I can’t decide between. I might do vet assistant? Or hospitality? And then dance kind of appeals too? But like, obviously I haven’t danced in ages, so I don’t know whether I’ll be able to go back to it. And I’m realistic, I know I won’t be a famous dancer, specially not with these stretch marks,”  
“Does teaching dance in a studio appeal to you Lilly?” Kelly supported the option the girl was clearly most interested by.  
“I’m not sure, maybe, I’m just not a huge fan of little kids. Hence you guys taking him for me.” She giggled shyly.

“I think working in a vet would be lots of fun because obviously you get to play with animals all day.”  
“I really want a dog but Jake’s dad said we can’t get one whilst we’re still living with him, but if I studied assistance to animal medicine then I could see dogs all the time.”  
“Yeah that would be really good, but you have to remember that you also have to see the animals pretty sick sometimes. Do you think you’d feel okay about that? Like, maybe having to see some animals die?”  
“I’m not sure, I’ve never done anything like it before.” She shrugged. “There’s not many jobs for it though, like it’s super competitive, whereas for hospitality there’s lots of stuff I could do, like hotels and events and stuff.”

“Sounds like you’re putting a lot of thought into it Lilly,” Tyler smiled at her proudly.  
“Yeh, I am. Before I met you guys I wasn’t planning on going to school at all, so I owe it all to you really.”  
“It’s an honour to help you realise your potential sweetheart.” Kelly smiled. “Oh there they are,”

Tyler strained from Todd’s lap to follow her line of vision, and saw Isabel and William cutting across the grass towards them, ladened with ice creams.

“Bout time guys, thought you’d gone home or something.”  
“We couldn’t manage all the ice creams at once so we bought ours first, sat and ate it, then got you guys yours.” William explained as he passed huge cones filled with swirls of ice cream and a flake to his grandmother and Lilly, and Isabel gave one to Todd and then a lemonade popsicle in a sealed packet to Tyler, who’d shuffled to sit up a little more but was still between his fiancé’s legs.

He was doing significantly better with OCD, dramatically better, but there were still some areas for improvement, most pressingly in the department of eating food in public. Restaurants he could just about manage, but fast food places were a challenge, and the idea of ice cream from a tank sat in a van all day made him feel all shades of queasy. Instead he opted for the safe ice cube in its own contained packet, the option with the least risk.

“Thanks angel,”

“What are you guys talking about?”  
“We were just discussing Lilly starting school as the next chapter of her life.”  
“What’s the- oh, are you okay?” The words fell from William’s lips as again Lilly’s face was crinkled with pain.  
“Another one?” Kelly rushed to be by her side, taking her ice cream and passing it to Todd to hold, then rubbing her lower back.

“Breathe through it, that’s it darling, breathe.”  
“Are you in labour? Is she in labour?” Isabel asked in a fluster.  
“Pregnant people usually get some random contractions weeks before proper labour, they’re called Brixton Hicks contractions, but no it’s not proper labour.” Todd explained to her.  
“But this is quite soon after that last one. Sweetheart, why don’t we try moving positions? See if that alleviates them at all? Moving around always used to help mine.” The grandmother suggested and Lilly nodded hastily, still unable to speak.

Tyler watched as his mom stood up, still as agile as ever, and then with William’s help, guided Lilly up to standing, both of them holding one forearm each. As soon as she was upright, suddenly there was a huge gushing sound and it quickly dawned on Tyler that her waters had just broken right in front of them.

“Okay Isabel, Dad was wrong, this is labour, your brother wants to come say hi early. William, go and get the car, see if you can drive it right up the path so you’re really close. Lilly sweetness, stay calm, you’re doing really really well,”  
“Call Jake! I need Jake.”  
“I’m calling Jake as we speak, don’t you worry, I’m calling him.” Tyler grabbed his phone and started scrolling through his contact lists for her boyfriend, the birth father, as quick as he could.  
“Ty, he’s coming, number 3, he’s actually coming.” Todd distracted him with an excited whisper and a huge grin, and he couldn’t resist breaking out into his own smile, then kissing him delicately on his lips.

“Boys? Lilly needs you, there’s all the time in the world for kissing, just not right now. Your baby’s on his way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do we think guys? Do we want to know what happens next for Tyler or do you prefer I stick to earlier stuff with Josh? Also if you want to continue, what should I name the baby?
> 
> I've got a 3 part instalment that should be finished fairly son that's about Tyler and Josh, and how Tyler gets sicker over time, so you angsty mf can have some food
> 
> also my next mammoth fic, the service dog fic, is coming along beautifully. I want to finish it before I start posting, because I know I'm not the most reliable and that can be annoying, but I promise i'm doing my best! depression is just a draining bitch
> 
> Lots of love  
> Maisie


End file.
